I've been taking time to focus on raising my awareness about issues associated with race. I have a strong belief that raising awareness about the importance of mental health with minority groups is something I'm supposed to be doing. I was joking with a friend that at 39, I finally know what
I want to be when I grow up. I started working in social services when I graduated from University. I remember applying for first job working with individuals with intellectual disabilities thinking I was going to change the world. I had a shiny new bachelor's degree and I was going to use my new piece of paper to influence change in a BIG way!
Clearly, I have a flare for the dramatic, but helping others is something that I truly enjoy. As I begin to start my journey into a new career. I find myself reflecting on that 20 something ingenue that had no idea about the world she was entering. Textbooks can tell you about a disorder or condition, but all the readings, papers and tests didn't prepare me for working with clients that were actually diagnosed with the conditions I studied. Learning about racism is similar to my school vs real life experiences. Anyone can read about racism and think they understand.... addressing racism however requires a further step... people have to take action. Knowing about racism is not an excuse for not doing anything to address racism. Does that mean everyone needs to start their own advocacy groups?? No, but do you address racist statements made by family or friends? Do you have resources that can be shared with your manager? Do you stand up for the person of colour against a person using racial slurs? Do you change the channel when people start stalking about race?
I mentioned in my previous blog that I have been doing a lot of reading and educating myself about racism. While I have a passion for working with black women, education is universal and sharing what I learn is also a form of advocacy for me. I've always had my nose in a book; learning for me is something I'm drawn to. I had to make sure that I didn't fall into the deep dark hole of reading journal articles when researching topics for papers. OnceI find something fascinating, I have a curious desire to know everything I possibly can about a subject.
Racism is something I'm passionate about not just because it impacts me daily, I truly believe that humans can be better. I speak from experience and I know that others that look like me have their own similar stories to tell. My education, my blog, and the interactions I have daily are all opportunities for me to speak my truth. Maya Angelou said, "when you know better, do better" and it's a statement I believe to be true. Should I have to keep talking about racism, no, it's 2020 and it's disappointing that more progress has not been made. I'm tired of having to defend and explain my experiences to justify that racism exists. I get very frustrated that with today's technology, some people have no understanding of why blackface is racist...no, you can't touch my hair and ask me "where I'm from" and risk getting a hot slap.
Help me understand if you know all about the Kardashians, your favorite tv show or movie, you can follow sports teams religiously, know every word to songs on the radio, but learning about racism... no thank you black girl, can you just tell me??? It is not minorities job to educate the same people that perpetuate the racism! Learning about racism is not a secret and I for one and tired of making excuse for people that "don't know better". So how does this mentality tie into hoping that people will be better? Frankly, Anti racism is an intentional, collective action and people of colour simply can't fight racism alone.
In her book Why I'm No Longer Talk to White People About Race, Reni Eddo-Lodge talks about how structural racism and the institutions that support oppression impact people of colour and how inaction by those in power also continues to support the ideas of colonialism and imperialism. As I read Reni's book, I could recall the blank stares I get when I talk to some white people about racism. I can see their eyes glaze over and I feel a sting of hurt knowing they didn't even hear a word I said. I've heard the defensive "I didn't own slaves" or "I'm not racist, I have a black friend"... Fine, you didn't own slaves, however that doesn't mean that you don't presently benefit from the actions of our ancestors. You can still be a racist and have black friends, have a black partner/spouse, hell even have black children.
Too often the defensiveness of white people prevents meaningful conversations about racism from happening. White fragility and guilt prevent white people from taking action to eliminate racism. Know better... how do I start learning how to "know better"?? Honestly, I have no answer to your question and I'm tired of having to bring up my pain in order to get white people to understand the impact of racim on people of colour. While my focus of this post was about the challenges of talking to white people about race, I encourage everyone to read and learn. For me, learning more about race helped inform my opinions with facts and I feel better able to explain my experiences. People of colour learning more about racim can also help with feelings of loneliness, or that you're the only one going through something. I found online communities for black women where I could share my learnings with others and hear about the experiences of other black women.
Why is the onus of addressing racism fall to the people that are being oppressed? How many books, articles, TED talks, Movies, TV shows, News articles, songs, blogs, youtube videos have to be created before white people start taking the initiative to educate themselves about racism? How can a white person say "I didn't know" about racism when googling "how not be a racist" would literally produce thousands of places for you to start? Reni lays out these questions and more in her book. I finished the book feeling more committed than ever to speaking my truth and supporting people of colour. I'm also committing to putting my sanity first and not engaging with people that willfully remain ignorant about racism.
I firmly stand behind the idea that not learning about racism is a choice, unwillingness to engage in addressing racism also constitutes complicity in permitting racism to occur. I no longer have the energy to engage with people that believe "reverse racism" is a thing or that Megan Markle wasn't driven out of Britain because of the racist media. I want to sit with the adults at the Thanksgiving table and I'm tired of having the same conversations with people that choose to not be informed and have the luxury of never having to change... so do your homework and then you can talk with me. I do recognize that change is hard and takes time; I hope that by speaking my truth, empathy can be developed in those that don't have to experience the negative consequences of racism and help spur change. I'm tired, I get run down, sometimes I just don't want to fight the racism fight, this is an issue that can't remain silent...so I'll continue to speak.
Don't understand what I wrote or want to learn more...Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race may be a place for you to start.
I want to be when I grow up. I started working in social services when I graduated from University. I remember applying for first job working with individuals with intellectual disabilities thinking I was going to change the world. I had a shiny new bachelor's degree and I was going to use my new piece of paper to influence change in a BIG way!
Clearly, I have a flare for the dramatic, but helping others is something that I truly enjoy. As I begin to start my journey into a new career. I find myself reflecting on that 20 something ingenue that had no idea about the world she was entering. Textbooks can tell you about a disorder or condition, but all the readings, papers and tests didn't prepare me for working with clients that were actually diagnosed with the conditions I studied. Learning about racism is similar to my school vs real life experiences. Anyone can read about racism and think they understand.... addressing racism however requires a further step... people have to take action. Knowing about racism is not an excuse for not doing anything to address racism. Does that mean everyone needs to start their own advocacy groups?? No, but do you address racist statements made by family or friends? Do you have resources that can be shared with your manager? Do you stand up for the person of colour against a person using racial slurs? Do you change the channel when people start stalking about race?
I mentioned in my previous blog that I have been doing a lot of reading and educating myself about racism. While I have a passion for working with black women, education is universal and sharing what I learn is also a form of advocacy for me. I've always had my nose in a book; learning for me is something I'm drawn to. I had to make sure that I didn't fall into the deep dark hole of reading journal articles when researching topics for papers. OnceI find something fascinating, I have a curious desire to know everything I possibly can about a subject.
Racism is something I'm passionate about not just because it impacts me daily, I truly believe that humans can be better. I speak from experience and I know that others that look like me have their own similar stories to tell. My education, my blog, and the interactions I have daily are all opportunities for me to speak my truth. Maya Angelou said, "when you know better, do better" and it's a statement I believe to be true. Should I have to keep talking about racism, no, it's 2020 and it's disappointing that more progress has not been made. I'm tired of having to defend and explain my experiences to justify that racism exists. I get very frustrated that with today's technology, some people have no understanding of why blackface is racist...no, you can't touch my hair and ask me "where I'm from" and risk getting a hot slap.
Help me understand if you know all about the Kardashians, your favorite tv show or movie, you can follow sports teams religiously, know every word to songs on the radio, but learning about racism... no thank you black girl, can you just tell me??? It is not minorities job to educate the same people that perpetuate the racism! Learning about racism is not a secret and I for one and tired of making excuse for people that "don't know better". So how does this mentality tie into hoping that people will be better? Frankly, Anti racism is an intentional, collective action and people of colour simply can't fight racism alone.
In her book Why I'm No Longer Talk to White People About Race, Reni Eddo-Lodge talks about how structural racism and the institutions that support oppression impact people of colour and how inaction by those in power also continues to support the ideas of colonialism and imperialism. As I read Reni's book, I could recall the blank stares I get when I talk to some white people about racism. I can see their eyes glaze over and I feel a sting of hurt knowing they didn't even hear a word I said. I've heard the defensive "I didn't own slaves" or "I'm not racist, I have a black friend"... Fine, you didn't own slaves, however that doesn't mean that you don't presently benefit from the actions of our ancestors. You can still be a racist and have black friends, have a black partner/spouse, hell even have black children.
Too often the defensiveness of white people prevents meaningful conversations about racism from happening. White fragility and guilt prevent white people from taking action to eliminate racism. Know better... how do I start learning how to "know better"?? Honestly, I have no answer to your question and I'm tired of having to bring up my pain in order to get white people to understand the impact of racim on people of colour. While my focus of this post was about the challenges of talking to white people about race, I encourage everyone to read and learn. For me, learning more about race helped inform my opinions with facts and I feel better able to explain my experiences. People of colour learning more about racim can also help with feelings of loneliness, or that you're the only one going through something. I found online communities for black women where I could share my learnings with others and hear about the experiences of other black women.
Why is the onus of addressing racism fall to the people that are being oppressed? How many books, articles, TED talks, Movies, TV shows, News articles, songs, blogs, youtube videos have to be created before white people start taking the initiative to educate themselves about racism? How can a white person say "I didn't know" about racism when googling "how not be a racist" would literally produce thousands of places for you to start? Reni lays out these questions and more in her book. I finished the book feeling more committed than ever to speaking my truth and supporting people of colour. I'm also committing to putting my sanity first and not engaging with people that willfully remain ignorant about racism.
I firmly stand behind the idea that not learning about racism is a choice, unwillingness to engage in addressing racism also constitutes complicity in permitting racism to occur. I no longer have the energy to engage with people that believe "reverse racism" is a thing or that Megan Markle wasn't driven out of Britain because of the racist media. I want to sit with the adults at the Thanksgiving table and I'm tired of having the same conversations with people that choose to not be informed and have the luxury of never having to change... so do your homework and then you can talk with me. I do recognize that change is hard and takes time; I hope that by speaking my truth, empathy can be developed in those that don't have to experience the negative consequences of racism and help spur change. I'm tired, I get run down, sometimes I just don't want to fight the racism fight, this is an issue that can't remain silent...so I'll continue to speak.
Don't understand what I wrote or want to learn more...Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race may be a place for you to start.
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